Regardless of how you may feel now, chances are good that some day, you'll see it fit to settle down with the person you love and cherish. You'll start your own family, and you'll see that child-rearing will raise an entirely new set of issues that years before, you never would have considered. What's the best way to go about toilet training? At what age is it appropriate to begin discussing sex and the process of prenatal development? How do you tell your daughter that she's not old enough to start wearing makeup to school? What I'd like to discuss now is an issue that will be a universal source of anxiety among new parents of our generation. It's time to start thinking about:
How to Talk to your Kids about Star Wars
Experts haven't agreed on one ideal age at which one should begin to learn about the sci-fi phenomenon that is Star Wars; most posit that it is best to wait until the child has been reading for at least a few years so that the parents may use any one of the numerous illustrated Star Wars encyclopedias to supplement the discussion. It is, however, generally accepted that a parent should preemptively bring up the topic in a comfortable and neutral situation, such as after a family dinner. Actively introducing your child to Star Wars ensures that his or her first impression of Star Wars comes from a reasonable and educated source. Wait too long and there is a chance your child will first hear about Star Wars from a friend or from a media source such as a TV commercial or the Internet. In most cases, this will lead to a harmless misunderstanding of Star Wars, such as a mistaken belief that Greedo shot first in the Mos Eisley Cantina, a misconception perpetuated by the remastered 1997 release of Star Wars Episode IV: A New Hope. However, there is a chance that a friend will show your child Episode I before he or she gets a chance to be exposed to the original trilogy, which can lead to a lot of unhealthy perceptions of the franchise. Best to beat the race and take the initiative yourself.
What I will say next is perhaps the most communally accepted piece of advice for parents who wish to talk about Star Wars with their kids: always always always begin with the original trilogy. It is important to frame your discussion around the idea that Star Wars, while complicated and sometimes a little bit scary (remember how uncomfortable you were when you first connected the dots and realized that Leia made out with her brother?) is a joyous and wonderful thing that can be shared with the people you love the most. Exposing a child to the later trilogy too early may give him or her the impression that Star Wars is all about special effects, flashy lightsaber battles and one-dimensional characters that serve only as objects of ridicule or as plot points. Make sure your child knows all about Han Solo's complex and love-driven transition from anti-hero to hero, the significance of Luke's unlikely rise to the most powerful good guy in the galaxy, and the pseudo-Grecian redemption Luke brings to his doomed father, Darth Vader, before introducing your child to Jar-Jar Binks or the comically unsettling decision to cast Samuel L. Jackson as the peaceful and subdued Master Mace Windu.
During the course of your discussion with your child, it is natural for him or her to ask questions about the Dark Side of the force. Try to be understanding of your child's curiosity; it is, after all, the Dark Side that gets badass Sith lightening, awesome shiny robot suits, and a powerful, but ultimately merciful villain voiced by James Earl Jones (Admiral Motti insulted the man's religion; how did he NOT expect to get choked from across a table? Mercy my ass.) When explaining the Dark Side of the force to your child, be firm in your stance that the Dark Side is the final destination on the path of fear, anger, hate and suffering, but also be patient with your child when he or she muses how cool it would be to have a red lightsaber instead of blue or green. Remember, it's a discussion, not a lecture. Calmly and gently state that while the Dark Side may seem like fun, it's the good team that doesn't get its major home base completely blown to Hell on two separate occasions. This would also be a good time to mention to your son, assuming he identifies as straight, or your daughter if you suspect she may be a lesbian, that only the good team gets a pretty, pistol-wielding woman to hang out with all the time. For gay boys or straight girls, you may use the brooding appeal of Han Solo or Luke's earnest, blue-eyed devotion to convey a similar message.
By no means is this a complete guide on how to discuss Star Wars with your children; every child is different and every approach will also be different. One parent may choose to begin by showing his child Star Wars Episode IV: A New Hope and then leading the child through a discussion of character traits, important plot details and the best Han Solo quotes, while another parent may opt to start with a basic rundown of the major characters and general plot line of the series before going to the movies themselves. What is important is that you take the time and care to make this a discussion that your child will not only enjoy, but learn from. Your child's Star Wars experience will begin with you. Make sure you give your child a good foundation on which they can build their own well-informed opinions, and I guarantee your child's relationship with Star Wars will be healthy, committed, and comforting, especially as they grow old enough to truly start exploring Star Wars for themselves.
So, talk to your children about Star Wars. Because if you don't, someone else will.
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| And it'll be this guy. |
Gold. Absolute gold.
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