10 years ago today, I woke up in a changed world. I would be lying if I said I remember everything, but the nervous whispers and questions that took over the schoolyard remain clear, even if I find it difficult to recall exactly what was said. 10 years ago, I was nine years old, a fourth-grader with very little understanding of the world outside the United States, or maybe even outside California. All of my knowledge regarding the human psyche came from classrooms and playgrounds. When somebody said they hated someone, it was because they copied answers off of a homework sheet, or because they spilled tomato sauce all over your backpack, or because they kicked a ball onto the roof during lunch and made it so that nobody could play soccer with the red cherry balls even though they were way more fun than regular soccer balls. Unspeakably horrid offenses, yes, but nothing that would merit more than a childish scolding or a brief and clumsy fistfight. 10 years ago today, I woke up to find that somebody hated us so much that they flew two commercial airplanes into the World Trade Center and one into the Pentagon, and that their hatred was fierce enough to kill almost 3000 people.
I would like to say that this makes as little sense now as it did then, but my understanding of international politics and the psychology of radicalism makes it impossible for me to say that I don't know how something like this could have happened. I have had a full ten years to learn that there are terrible people who do terrible things, and as uncomfortable as it is to admit, there is most often a reason. I have also had a full ten years to learn that there are wonderful people who do wonderful things, and even average people who do wonderful things, and it is an unfathomable relief to know that people who do wonderful things greatly outnumber those who are terrible.
Ten years later, it still hurts. Families who lost siblings, parents and spouses are still aching. We, as citizens, still bear the scars of the great injury our country suffered. But if I can take anything from the ten years I've had since I found the world to be far scarier than I had previously ever imagined, it is that the world is also far brighter and more beautiful than I ever could have hoped. Remember, yes. Give those we lost the respect and reverence that they deserve. But as we remember 9/11, we must implore ourselves to also remember that slowly but surely, we are healing.
