Monday, October 4, 2010

There is a light and it never goes out

Tyler Clementi.  Seth Walsh.  Billy Lucas.  Raymond Chase.  Justin Aaberg.  Asher Brown.

And these are just the stories we've heard on the news.  Unfortunately, there are so many more stories and voices that we don't get to hear, but that makes them no less important.  These boys died for a stupid and senseless reason; someone hurt them so badly that they felt they had no choice but to take their own lives.

It's true that LGBTQ tolerance has come a long way (only as recently as 1973 was it declassified as a mental illness in the DSM), but clearly it needs to go further.  Feeling alone and dehumanized shouldn't be a normal part of identifying as gay or bisexual, but for too many young people it's a part of waking up each morning.  However, I don't want to just focus on the sexual orientation of these victims.  Homosexuality is not the issue at hand; the issue at hand is insensitivity and cruelty, which unfortunately are ills that anyone can experience.  Gay and bisexual teens are at a higher risk for being bullied than straight teens, but thousands if not millions of people feel ostracized because of their socio-economic status, religion, appearance, gender, or mental and/or physical handicap.  This sort of abuse leads to depression, and in the worst cases, death.

There is a silver lining to all of this, and it's that your actions and words can positively impact someone just as much, if not more, than they can negatively impact someone.  How would these six stories have turned out differently if these boys had the support and acceptance that they deserved?  So my challenge to you is this: instead of worrying about the terrible things others are saying, concentrate on being a friend, a confidante, and an ally.  People will always get hurt, but if there are more of us willing to be healers, we can have more stories with happy endings.  Love is incredible.  It can change, and in some cases save a life.

I'm ready to stand up and be a healer.  I know there are more of us out there willing to do the same.

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